Pregnant woman:

oh my god he's kicking!!

Me:

*punches her in the stomach* you think it's fucking cool to hit girls you little bitch??

“The U.S. is threatening to freeze Russia’s assets. Which sounds like a good move, until you realize vodka doesn’t freeze.”

—   

Jimmy Fallon’s Monologue, 3/17/14

[Part 1 / Part 2]

(via fallontonight)

(via fallontonight)

funnyordie:

How to Enjoy Jogging

funnyordie:

How to Enjoy Jogging


If you’re a teen you must follow this blog.

If you’re a teen you must follow this blog.

(via drowsies)

funnyordie:

via funnyordie​